{"id":1907,"date":"2017-10-11T12:59:50","date_gmt":"2017-10-11T12:59:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bellhopblog.com\/blog\/?p=1907"},"modified":"2022-08-09T18:45:20","modified_gmt":"2022-08-09T18:45:20","slug":"make-friends-in-new-city","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Make Friends in a New City: A Guide for the Perplexed"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_38 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Jump Ahead To: <\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/#Making_Friends_in_a_New_City\" title=\"Making Friends in a New City\">Making Friends in a New City<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/#Where_can_I_make_friends\" title=\"Where can I make friends?\">Where can I make friends?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/#How_to_Make_Friends_in_a_New_City_In_Person\" title=\"How to Make Friends in a New City (In Person)\">How to Make Friends in a New City (In Person)<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/#How_to_Make_Friends_in_a_New_City_Online\" title=\"How to Make Friends in a New City (Online)\">How to Make Friends in a New City (Online)<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/#Questions_to_ask_a_new_friend\" title=\"Questions to ask a new friend\">Questions to ask a new friend<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/#Making_Friends_In_a_New_City_Can_Be_Hard_And_Thats_Okay\" title=\"Making Friends In a New City Can Be Hard, And That\u2019s Okay\">Making Friends In a New City Can Be Hard, And That\u2019s Okay<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\r\n<p><em>\u201cSince there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them.\u201d<\/em> \u2014Francesco Guicciardini<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>It\u2019s 6 p.m. on a Friday night. You trudge through the door feeling defeated. You just put in a monster week at the new startup you\u2019re working for and you\u2019re feeling absolutely exhausted.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>After a cold beer and a hot shower, you slip into a pair of gym shorts, hike your feet up on your coffee table and turn on Netflix. You peruse through endless TV shows and movies for about 30 minutes or so before realizing you don\u2019t feel like watching anything.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>Bored, you begin to scroll through your social feeds, only to find a bunch of your old friends in your old city doing fun Friday night things. A wave of sadness comes over you as you think to yourself\u2026 \u201cI sure am glad that I took this new job, but wow do I miss my friends.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>Does this story sound painfully familiar? Are you\u2026 Lonely in a new city? We\u2019re really sorry you\u2019re feeling lonely. Seriously. And, while we can\u2019t reach out and hug you through this screen, we can do the next best thing\u2014<em>write an article that will help make all the nasty loneliness go away.<\/em><\/p>\r\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-11278 size-full lazyload\" title=\"How to Make Friends in a New City: A Guide for the Perplexed Bellhop Blog\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" alt=\"How to Make Friends in a New City: A Guide for the Perplexed Bellhop Blog\" width=\"1469\" height=\"981\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1469px) 100vw, 1469px\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/friends.jpeg\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/friends.jpeg 1469w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/friends-300x200.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/friends-1024x684.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/friends-768x513.jpeg 768w\"><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Making_Friends_in_a_New_City\"><\/span>Making Friends in a New City<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>While loneliness is painful (sometimes crushingly so), the good news (in a weird way) is that there are a lot of other people (probably in a 5-mile radius of you) feeling awfully lonely too.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>It\u2019s weird. We live in an age where everyone is connected. In seconds, you can hop on Skype with someone in the middle of Indonesia (as long as they have a decent wifi connection) and have a face-to-face conversation. And, between Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat\u2026 you can see what your friends are doing at all hours of the day.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>So, why, in such a connected world, do people feel more lonely than they have ever felt before? The answer is pretty simple\u2026 while our smartphones and social media accounts are wonderful when it comes to staying connected, they are not the best when it comes to building deep and genuine friendships (sometimes they can even <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theatlantic.com\/magazine\/archive\/2012\/05\/is-facebook-making-us-lonely\/308930\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">make us lonelier<\/a>).<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>The individual who has 10-15 close friends is less lonely than the individual who has 100,000 followers they don\u2019t know. So, the question is\u2026 <em>How can I build these deep genuine friendships?<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Where_can_I_make_friends\"><\/span>Where can I make friends?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>First things first, you need to know where to look. In this section, we will give you places both in-person and online you can check-out to find friends.<\/p><div class=\"getbe-middle\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center; \" id=\"getbe-1614346634\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/book\/service\/\" aria-label=\"The Better Way to Move\"><img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" alt=\"The Better Way to Move\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" width=\"600\" height=\"160\" style=\" max-width: 100%; height: auto;\" class=\"lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/600x160.png\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/600x160.png 600w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/600x160-300x80.png 300w\"><\/a><\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>Below, we have listed out several places to look when making friends in a new city. These are going to take getting out of your house and putting yourself out there. If you are a little shy, skip ahead to the next sections, <em>How to make friends online.<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_Make_Friends_in_a_New_City_In_Person\"><\/span>How to Make Friends in a New City (In Person)<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n<li><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/chicceo\/2013\/10\/21\/7-reasons-to-join-a-mastermind-group\/#88d58015deb2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Find a mastermind<\/a>.<\/strong> This is a group of professionals working together to help each other reach their professional and personal goals. If you can track down a mastermind group filled with great people, it can do wonders for both your professional and social life. Oftentimes, these groups are filled with people who have been in a city for a while, so they can introduce you to other individuals as well.<\/li>\r\n<li><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.meetup.com\/topics\/bookclub\/?_cookie-check=UFP0BAzFFpHTd2Cq\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Join a book club<\/a>.<\/strong> A book club is a book lover\u2019s paradise. If you are a reader and like discussing what you read over a cup of coffee, why not join a bi-weekly book club? Not only will you be well-read after a few months of attending, but you will become a better conversationalist. And, if you are lucky, you\u2019ll meet a good friend along the way.<\/li>\r\n<li><strong>Volunteer with a NonProfit.<\/strong> Working a couple hours a week at a non-profit is a great way to meet genuine and kind-hearted people. We aren\u2019t rocket scientists here at Bellhop, but we think you have a better chance of meeting a lifelong friend at a nonprofit than say\u2026 your Twitter feed.<\/li>\r\n<li><strong>Take your pup to a dog park.<\/strong> If there is but one truth in this world, it is this \u2014 everybody loves dogs. Sometimes, meeting new people can be awkward. What do you talk about? How do you start up the conversation? Well, when you have a dog, it immediately gives you something to talk about, as well as an area of common ground.<\/li>\r\n<li><strong>Say hello to your neighbors.<\/strong> Step outside your house and knock on a few of your neighbor\u2019s doors. Just say, \u201cWhat\u2019s up? I\u2019m new to the neighborhood and just wanted to introduce myself.\u201d After a few minutes of conversation, you will quickly be able to tell what they are like and whether the two of you mesh. Moving in next to cool neighbors is a lot like the lottery\u2013\u2013 sometimes you hit the jackpot, other times you aren\u2019t as lucky. But, there is only one way to find. You have to say hello.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_Make_Friends_in_a_New_City_Online\"><\/span>How to Make Friends in a New City (Online)<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>Okay, no worries. You\u2019ve been reading this list and, while you like the ideas, if you\u2019re honest with yourself, you just know that you\u2019re not the type to put yourself out there like that. At least not quite yet. Maybe you have a little bit of social anxiety or maybe you\u2019ve just always been a little shy.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><em>Well, guess what?<\/em> There are hundreds of thousands of super-cool people just like you who are also a little shy. So, instead, they go online to break the ice digitally, before meeting up for a cup of coffee\u2026 Here are some great places to start your friend search online.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n<li><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">LinkedIn<\/a>.<\/strong> You\u2019ve probably heard of it. If you haven\u2019t, it\u2019s a professional social network. When you are in the process of making friends in a new city, why not kill two birds with one stone? On LinkedIn, you can build your professional network, while also searching for some cool friends along the way. If you\u2019re new to a city, buy a month-long Premium membership and start reaching out to individuals in your new city. Just send them a message saying something like:<br \/><em>\u201cHi there, I\u2019m new to the area and I\u2019m looking to get better connected. I was wondering if you would be open to grabbing coffee? I\u2019m really impressed with what you are doing at [fill in the blank] and would love to learn how you\u2019ve built such an awesome [career or business] here.\u201d <\/em>You would be surprised at how open and accommodating people can be if you simply ask for help. But you\u2019ve got to ask!<\/li>\r\n<li><strong>Meet My Dog.<\/strong> Imagine a social media account for a dog. Well, that\u2019s basically what Meet My Dog is \u2014 <a href=\"http:\/\/meetmydogapp.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">a location-based social app that allows you to meet other dog owners in your area<\/a>. In our previous section, we mentioned taking your pup to dog parks to meet new people, and how it is an instantaneous icebreaker. Meet My Dog is the same idea, but just sparked virtually. Many times, cool dogs have cool owners. So, while your dog is meeting new doggie friends, you can be meeting cool doggie owners.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Questions_to_ask_a_new_friend\"><\/span>Questions to ask a new friend<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>So far, we\u2019ve talked quite a bit about places you can look when making friends in a new city, but we haven\u2019t discussed what may be the most important element\u2013\u2013 how do we know if you\u2019re a good fit?<br \/>If you\u2019re looking for the right answer, the best way to get there is by asking the right questions. Not to mention first-time meetups with new people can come with a lot of awkward silence. It may not be a bad idea to have a few questions to pull out if the conversation reaches a lull.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<ol>\r\n<li><strong>What do you do for work? And, how did you get into it?<\/strong> For a lot of people, work is an easy and natural thing to talk about considering we do it for 40+ hours a week. Ask them what they do and this can turn into an entire conversation in itself.<\/li>\r\n<li><strong>Do you see yourself doing this for a while?<\/strong> Just because someone is working a job right now it doesn\u2019t mean that it\u2019s what they <em>want<\/em> to do. This is a nice follow-up question to #1. Everyone has goals and dreams. They may not always share them, but they definitely have them. Take the time to figure out where they are heading, you might learn something about yourself along the way.<\/li>\r\n<li><strong>If you could eat dinner with anyone in the world, living or dead, who would you choose and why?<\/strong> This question is a great way to indirectly learn a lot about a person and it can segue into a lot of interesting topics. Give it a shot.<\/li>\r\n<li><strong>If you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent, skill, or ability, what would you choose?<\/strong><\/li>\r\n<li><strong>Do you have any siblings? How many? Where did you grow up?<\/strong> These are just a few questions you can ask when interested in learning more about where a person came from\u2014you might find some common ground.<\/li>\r\n<li><strong>What music do you listen to?<\/strong> Sometimes people will have trouble answering this question. And it makes sense\u2014a lot of us listen to a lot of music! If your new friend is having trouble listing some bands they like, follow up with \u201cWell, what have you been listening to lately?\u201d Often, this is a much easier question to answer and it can still lead to some great conversations.<\/li>\r\n<li><strong>What\u2019s a book or movie that has had a significant impact on you?<\/strong> Again, some people may feel put on the spot by this question. If your new friend is having trouble, try asking him\/her \u201cWhat\u2019s a book or movie that you\u2019ve read\/seen recently that you really liked?\u201d That should get the ball rolling quite nicely.<\/li>\r\n<li><strong>How do you spend your time outside of work?<\/strong> Considering you will be spending time with this person outside of work, you might want to know what they like to do. If they enjoy taxidermy (stuffing dead animals) and you enjoy volunteering at the animal shelter, you two may have difficulty finding things in common.<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>Keep in mind that when you meet a new friend for the first time, sometimes you\u2019ll click right away and sometimes you won\u2019t. Don\u2019t write someone off immediately if your first meeting feels a little awkward. Maybe they aren\u2019t the best with strangers. Maybe <em>you<\/em> aren\u2019t the best with strangers (whoops). Making friends and warming up to people can take time. Sometimes you have to interact with someone several times before both of you feel comfortable fully \u201cbeing yourself.\u201d And that\u2019s okay. Aren\u2019t some of your favorite songs the ones that you didn\u2019t like the first time you heard them?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Making_Friends_In_a_New_City_Can_Be_Hard_And_Thats_Okay\"><\/span>Making Friends In a New City Can Be Hard, And That\u2019s Okay<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>When you think about it, friendships are a very odd thing. One day you randomly run into someone at a coffee shop, a record store or a work event and think to yourself\u2026 \u201cI like this person.\u201d And then you start doing fun things together, and, before you know it, what was once a complete stranger is now a companion and confidant.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>Don\u2019t overcomplicate the process. If you realize it\u2019s just about finding a cool genuine person you can mesh with, suddenly it becomes far less <a class=\"wpil_keyword_link\" href=\"\/blog\/moving-stress\/\"   title=\"stressful\" data-wpil-keyword-link=\"linked\">stressful<\/a>. You realize that, in part, this is a numbers game\u2014if you put yourself in front of enough friendly faces, you will eventually find a face you want to see more of.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>Though, you have to be willing to put yourself out there. We aren\u2019t saying it\u2019s easy, especially today. We live in a world where people are more comfortable texting or tweeting than actually meeting up and talking with someone.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>But, while it can be difficult, we would never recommend shying away from an opportunity to make a new friend. Even just making one new friend in your new city can make all the difference in the world. In the words of Thomas Fuller, \u201cFriendships multiply life\u2019s joys and divide life\u2019s sorrows.\u201d So get on out there. It\u2019s worth it.<\/p>\r\n<p>If you&#8217;re looking into moving to a new city, please consider checking out our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/how-to-compare-moving-company-quotes\/\">guide<\/a> on comparing moving company quotes. Choosing affordable movers could allow you to get out and socialize a lot sooner after your arrival!<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cSince there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them.\u201d \u2014Francesco Guicciardini It\u2019s 6 p.m. on a Friday [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":1915,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false},"categories":[1209],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v19.5 (Yoast SEO v19.10) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Make Friends in a New City: A Guide for the Perplexed - Bellhop<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you want to make friends in a new city, but you&#039;re hoping for a little more advice than just &quot;To make a friend you have to be a friend,&quot;\u2014we got you.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Make Friends in a New City: A Guide for the Perplexed\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Bellhop allows you to choose from a variety of local, long-distance, and labor-only moving services that suit your needs and budget.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Bellhop\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/BellhopMoving\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-10-11T12:59:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-08-09T18:45:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/ben-duchac-66002.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1880\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1253\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Harrison Stevens\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@BellhopMoving\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@BellhopMoving\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Harrison Stevens\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"11 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Harrison Stevens\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/68169a05123d28430a4381b225df53e1\"},\"headline\":\"How to Make Friends in a New City: A Guide for the Perplexed\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-10-11T12:59:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-08-09T18:45:20+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/\"},\"wordCount\":2138,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Moving\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/make-friends-in-new-city\/\",\"name\":\"How to Make Friends in a New City: A Guide for the Perplexed - 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