{"id":4005,"date":"2024-03-08T09:19:25","date_gmt":"2024-03-08T09:19:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bellhopblog.com\/blog\/?p=4005"},"modified":"2024-03-08T19:54:06","modified_gmt":"2024-03-08T19:54:06","slug":"moving-in-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/","title":{"rendered":"Moving in Together? 10 Signs it&#8217;s Too Soon &#038; 10 Questions to Ask First"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_38 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Jump Ahead To: <\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#Are_you_ready_to_move_in_together\" title=\"Are you ready to move in\u00a0together?\">Are you ready to move in\u00a0together?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#10_Signs_you_might_be_moving_in_together_too_soon\" title=\"10 Signs you might be moving in together too soon.\">10 Signs you might be moving in together too soon.<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3'><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#1_You_frequently_get_in_arguments_with_no_strategy_to_resolve_them\" title=\"1. You frequently get in arguments with no strategy to resolve them.\">1. You frequently get in arguments with no strategy to resolve them.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#2_Most_of_your_relationship_has_been_spent_long-distance\" title=\"2. Most of your relationship has been spent long-distance.\">2. Most of your relationship has been spent long-distance.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#3_Youre_receiving_some_pressure_to_move_in_together_from_outside_your_relationship\" title=\"3. You\u2019re receiving some pressure to move in together from outside your relationship.\">3. You\u2019re receiving some pressure to move in together from outside your relationship.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#4_You_think_moving_in_together_will_fix_your_struggling_relationship\" title=\"4. You think moving in together will fix your struggling relationship.\">4. You think moving in together will fix your struggling relationship.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#5_To_prove_I_can\" title=\"5. To prove I can.\">5. To prove I can.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#6_Some_other_reason_is_making_us_do_it\" title=\"6. Some other reason is making us do it.\">6. Some other reason is making us do it.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#7_We_survived_Covid\" title=\"7. We survived Covid.\">7. We survived Covid.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-10\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#8_You_dont_want_to_date_again\" title=\"8. You don\u2019t want to date again\">8. You don\u2019t want to date again<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-11\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#9_You_have_differing_political_views\" title=\"9. You have differing political views.\">9. You have differing political views.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-12\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#10_Something_just_doesnt_feel_right\" title=\"10. Something just doesn\u2019t feel right.\">10. Something just doesn\u2019t feel right.<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-13\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#10_Questions_to_Ask_Before_Moving_in_Together\" title=\"10 Questions to Ask Before Moving in Together\">10 Questions to Ask Before Moving in Together<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3'><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-14\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#1_How_will_we_be_pay_for_rent_and_expenses_like_utilities_groceries\" title=\"1. How will we be pay for rent and expenses like utilities, groceries?\">1. How will we be pay for rent and expenses like utilities, groceries?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-15\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#2_If_you_break_up%E2%80%A6_who_moves_out_And_the_furniture\" title=\"2. If you break up\u2026 who moves out? And the furniture?\">2. If you break up\u2026 who moves out? And the furniture?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-16\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#3_Who_keeps_the_pet\" title=\"3. Who keeps the pet?\">3. Who keeps the pet?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-17\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#4_How_will_you_both_maintain_the_spark_in_your_relationship_after_moving_in_together\" title=\"4. How will you both maintain the spark in your relationship after moving in together?\">4. How will you both maintain the spark in your relationship after moving in together?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-18\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#5_How_will_you_set_boundaries_and_respect_one_anothers_privacy\" title=\"5. How will you set boundaries and respect one another\u2019s privacy?\">5. How will you set boundaries and respect one another\u2019s privacy?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-19\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#6_How_will_you_share_responsibilities\" title=\"6. How will you share responsibilities?\">6. How will you share responsibilities?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-20\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#7_How_does_working_remote_change_things\" title=\"7. How does working remote change things?\">7. How does working remote change things?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-21\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#8_What_drives_each_person_crazy\" title=\"8. What drives each person crazy?\">8. What drives each person crazy?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-22\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#9_Explore_family_matters_because_families_matter\" title=\"9. Explore family matters because families matter.\">9. Explore family matters because families matter.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-23\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#10_How_will_you_work_through_problems_in_your_relationship_as_they_come_up\" title=\"10. How will you work through problems in your relationship as they come up?\">10. How will you work through problems in your relationship as they come up?<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-24\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#Still_moving_in_together_We_can_help\" title=\"Still moving in together? We can help!\">Still moving in together? We can help!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\r\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Are_you_ready_to_move_in_together\"><\/span>Are you ready to move in\u00a0together?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>So\u2026 you\u2019re thinking about moving in together? Maybe moving in with a boyfriend. Well, to begin, you\u2019re not alone. According to the Center for Disease Control &amp; Prevention in 2019 more Americans were moving in together before marriage. Then Covid came along and upended everything and everyone. Still people are doing it, maybe your friends too? Should you?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>We will cover what you need to know about moving in together, plus offer some updated stats and questions. That way you can decide whether it is a great idea or a terrible one for you and your significant other.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>10 signs you might be moving in together too soon<\/li>\r\n<li>10 questions to ask before moving in together<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"680\" class=\"wp-image-4010 lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" alt=\"Scott Webb\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" data-src=\"https:\/\/bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/scott-webb-18677-unsplash-1024x680.jpg\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/scott-webb-18677-unsplash-1024x680.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/scott-webb-18677-unsplash-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/scott-webb-18677-unsplash-768x510.jpg 768w\"><\/figure>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10_Signs_you_might_be_moving_in_together_too_soon\"><\/span>10 Signs you might be moving in together too soon.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\r\n<p>Let us first help you decide if you and your partner are making the right decision for your relationship. Let\u2019s discuss a few signs that might mean the two of you are thinking about moving in together too soon.<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_You_frequently_get_in_arguments_with_no_strategy_to_resolve_them\"><\/span>1. You frequently get in arguments with no strategy to resolve them.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>Drama looks good on Netflix but not in your kitchen. Arguments in themselves are not bad. In\u00a0fact, if you are never arguing in your relationship, it may show that\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/blog\/relationships-not-arguing-means-youre-not-communicating\/\">you\u2019re not actually communicating with each other<\/a>. However, there is a difference between a good argument and a bad argument. Are you able to cool off, use the argument as a way to learn more about yourself and your partner, and then agree together (after a time) after ? (Good) Or do you just brush it off, never really resolving the issue and letting bitterness fester? (Bad)<\/p>\r\n<p>If you and your partner often argue without resolving the issue, you may want to give yourselves time to build a healthier relationship before occupying the same place. Arguments tend to start over \u2018small things,\u2019 then can morph when you start sharing a bathroom\u2026 a kitchen\u2026 and a living room. There is nothing wrong with the occasional argument, but frequent or hostile arguments without positive resolution could foreshadow the storm to come. (See our tip <a href=\"#_10_Questions_to\">#10<\/a> for helping relationship talks).<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Most_of_your_relationship_has_been_spent_long-distance\"><\/span>2. Most of your relationship has been spent long-distance.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>If you and your partner haven\u2019t spent a ton of time together, then you should slowly ease into moving in together. (Zoom calls don\u2019t count as \u2018time together\u2019). Going from 100% of your time apart to 100% of your time together can be a shock to both parties. That\u2019s why in these cases, we recommend you ease into moving in together versus jumping into it. We recommend starting out by living in the same city then going from there.<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Youre_receiving_some_pressure_to_move_in_together_from_outside_your_relationship\"><\/span>3. You\u2019re receiving some pressure to move in together from outside your relationship.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>If one or both people in a relationship feel pressured, then take a step back before making a big life decision like moving in together. Peer pressure is very real, especially as people enter into their twenties and thirties. When your friends are getting married and settling down, it can pressure you into following in their footsteps.<\/p>\r\n<p>People can wind up in serious commitments (hello, year-long leases!) with the wrong person because they think it is what they should do versus what they want to do. Anytime you are moving in with someone, you and your partner should be certain it\u2019s what you 100% want to do.<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_You_think_moving_in_together_will_fix_your_struggling_relationship\"><\/span>4. You think moving in together will fix your struggling relationship.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>Sometimes one person <em>really<\/em> wants to live together, and the other is just OK with how things are. Sound familiar? The basic Rom Com movie, right?<\/p>\r\n<p>If you are trying to fix problems in your relationship by moving in together, you should consider a relationship therapist instead. When moving in together, your relationship should be as healthy as it has ever been, and you <em>both<\/em> can see it getting <em>\u2018better together\u2019<\/em>. Think of it as a building foundation. You would never attempt to build a skyscraper on a broken foundation. So, don\u2019t try to build a future on a relationship showing cracks.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_To_prove_I_can\"><\/span>5. To prove I can.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>Some parents try to influence their grown kids\u2019 lives. Some want grandkids (except with your current choice). Others may say cohabiting is a bad idea (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/short-reads\/2022\/03\/11\/rising-share-of-americans-see-women-raising-children-on-their-own-cohabitation-as-bad-for-society\/\">a growing trend<\/a>). A natural reaction is to do the opposite. The only two opinions that matters are yours. Maybe you have to skip a Thanksgiving dinner to make a point.<\/p>\r\n<p><em>The writer says, \u2018At times I have to bite my tongue to stop giving \u2018great\u2019 parenting advice. <\/em>Your parents may have to learn this too. It\u2019s tough but telling them can help reset boundaries that reflect your new independence.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" class=\"wp-image-4009 lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" alt=\"Sarandy Westfall\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" data-src=\"https:\/\/bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/sarandy-westfall-666700-unsplash-1024x683.jpg\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/sarandy-westfall-666700-unsplash-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/sarandy-westfall-666700-unsplash-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/sarandy-westfall-666700-unsplash-768x512.jpg 768w\"><\/figure>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_Some_other_reason_is_making_us_do_it\"><\/span>6. Some other reason is making us do it.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>Maybe it\u2019s money. It typically is. A rent increase. Loss of a job. A housemate moving out. Whatever. All are still <em>not <\/em>reasons to live together if the relationship wouldn\u2019t go there anyway. A relationship based on \u2018rescue\u2019 or \u2018had to\u2019 can lead to blaming, guilt and other gnawing attitudes. Fix whatever else is happening first.<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7_We_survived_Covid\"><\/span>7. We survived Covid.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>Living together or quarantined separately, Covid was a strain on everyone. Now we have a \u2018new normal.\u2019 Some may feel more pressured than ever to cohabitate. Others less. The economy is different. Work is different. <em>You\u2019re<\/em> different.<\/p>\r\n<p>Housing costs more and you may have a great mortgage rate, for example, and don\u2019t want to lose it. You or they may have a few gray hairs. Life is changing. Does this \u2018current version\u2019 of you really want this?<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"8_You_dont_want_to_date_again\"><\/span>8. You don\u2019t want to date again<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>Dating has gotten <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/social-trends\/2020\/08\/20\/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years\/\">harder<\/a>. For the first time a majority of single women are not looking for romance or relationship. \u201cSingle men are far more likely than single women to be looking for a relationship or dates \u2013 61% vs. 38%. This gender gap is especially apparent among older singles.\u201d While folks can be tolerant of religious and racial differences, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/social-trends\/2020\/08\/20\/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years\/\">research said<\/a> a long-distant relationship, significant debt, or a vote for Donald Trump can be a deal breaker.<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"9_You_have_differing_political_views\"><\/span>9. You have differing political views.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>It\u2019s hard but possible to avoid talking politics with the crazy uncle at Thanksgiving. Harder if you are living with a person who has opposite political views. \u2018Around six-in-ten U.S. adults (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/politics\/2023\/09\/19\/americans-feelings-about-politics-polarization-and-the-tone-of-political-discourse\/\">61%<\/a>) say having political conversations with people they disagree with is generally \u201cstressful and frustrating\u201d\u2026\u2019 If <em>Fox News<\/em> or <em>CNN<\/em> is a trigger, take a TV blaring news 24\/7 as a warning.<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10_Something_just_doesnt_feel_right\"><\/span>10. Something just doesn\u2019t feel right.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>Believe it or not, there are 100 million neurons in your stomach. So, there is quite a bit of truth behind the age-old saying, \u201ctrust your gut.\u201d The bottom line, if it feels too soon, then it probably is. Many people have a hard time trusting their intuition, making life harder than it has to be. If it feels too soon to be moving in together, don\u2019t force it.<\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10_Questions_to_Ask_Before_Moving_in_Together\"><\/span>10 Questions to Ask Before Moving in Together<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\r\n<p><img data-dominant-color=\"89788a\" data-has-transparency=\"false\" style=\"--dominant-color: #89788a;\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"not-transparent size-full wp-image-26186 lazyload\" title=\"Couple On a Beach\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" alt=\"Couple On a Beach - AI Generated\" width=\"1430\" height=\"817\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1430px) 100vw, 1430px\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Couple-On-a-Beach.jpg\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Couple-On-a-Beach.jpg 1430w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Couple-On-a-Beach-300x171.webp 300w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Couple-On-a-Beach-1024x585.webp 1024w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Couple-On-a-Beach-768x439.webp 768w\"><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>To make moving in together comfortable, you have to be willing to have uncomfortable conversations. Many couples are so excited about moving in together, that they never sit down and talk about some very big and important questions. Below, you will find 6 things to discuss before moving in together.<\/p><div class=\"getbe-middle\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center; \" id=\"getbe-1573009592\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/book\/service\/\" aria-label=\"The Better Way to Move\"><img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" alt=\"The Better Way to Move\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" width=\"600\" height=\"160\" style=\" max-width: 100%; height: auto;\" class=\"lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/600x160.png\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/600x160.png 600w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/600x160-300x80.png 300w\"><\/a><\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>To make moving in together comfortable, you have to be willing to have uncomfortable conversations. Many couples are so excited about moving in together, that they never sit down and talk about some very big and important questions <em>before<\/em>. Here are ten.<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_How_will_we_be_pay_for_rent_and_expenses_like_utilities_groceries\"><\/span>1. How will we be pay for rent and expenses like utilities, groceries?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>Money is a serious subject and one you should always discuss before moving in together. Before signing an apartment lease, you and your partner should know who will be paying for what and how all you will divvy up expenses. If a one person makes 3x more than the other, how do you divide the rent or mortgage? Does the Tequila drinker pay for that $90 bottle separately? The Hulu watcher for Hulu? The Twitch gamer pay for the faster connection? What about surprise expenses like car repair? Paying for the other has repercussions beyond the repair.<\/p>\r\n<p>High levels of debt can be damaging. It\u2019s always a good idea to determine the impact of joint accounts legally on your responsibility to take on the other\u2019s debt.<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_If_you_break_up%E2%80%A6_who_moves_out_And_the_furniture\"><\/span>2. If you break up\u2026 who moves out? And the furniture?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>Perhaps the least fun topic on this list of things to discuss before moving in together, but it\u2019s something you must address. Couples go their separate ways all the time. If the two of your discover that moving in together was a bad decision, what is Plan B? Somebody has to move out. Who keeps the furniture?<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Who_keeps_the_pet\"><\/span>3. Who keeps the pet?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>If you have pets or acquire them together after you move in, who keeps them? Of the 62% of U.S. adults who are pet owners, nearly all (97%) say their pets are <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/short-reads\/2023\/07\/07\/about-half-us-of-pet-owners-say-their-pets-are-as-much-a-part-of-their-family-as-a-human-member\/\">part of their family<\/a>. This includes 51% who say their pets are as much \u201ca part of their family as a human family member.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p><em>I\u2019ve a young friend whose greatest source of bitterness after a breakup is about losing (access to) the pet. \u201cThe way he handled it only validated how inconsiderate he really was.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_How_will_you_both_maintain_the_spark_in_your_relationship_after_moving_in_together\"><\/span>4. How will you both maintain the spark in your relationship after moving in together?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>When relationships are new and exciting, there is no need to maintain the spark\u2026 the spark is already there\u2026 hotter than a firecracker on the 4th of July. After moving in together, the spark can start burning low. This is natural but does mean the two of you need to make more of an effort to keep things exciting. Choose certain nights to be date nights. Plan fun day trips. Or share recipes and make dinner together a couple of nights a week. It\u2019s necessary to build a habit of <em>active<\/em> engagement to counter the all-to-easy \u2018chill and doze\u2019 Netflix evening.<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_How_will_you_set_boundaries_and_respect_one_anothers_privacy\"><\/span>5. How will you set boundaries and respect one another\u2019s privacy?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>One of the most difficult aspects of moving in together with your partner is going from tons of privacy to next-to-no privacy at all. This is why it is so important for you two to set boundaries with one another, particularly if you weren\u2019t together during Covid. These boundaries will vary depending on the relationship, but regardless, it should be a point of discussion.<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_How_will_you_share_responsibilities\"><\/span>6. How will you share responsibilities?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>As you already know, there is a lot to do around a house or apartment: laundry, dishes, bathroom. After money issues, chores seems to be the greatest reason for breakups. With <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/short-reads\/2023\/10\/27\/working-husbands-in-the-us-have-more-leisure-time-than-working-wives-do-especially-among-those-with-children\/\">chores falling disproportionately on the woman<\/a> it\u2019s easy for a relationship to come unbalanced. That stack of dishes left on the counter to go watch the big game can spark a bad outcome. Before moving in together, talk about it.<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7_How_does_working_remote_change_things\"><\/span>7. How does working remote change things?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>Covid changed the definition of \u2018I need my space.\u2019 It\u2019s pretty hard for Zoom-calling couples to share the same room while working. What happens while one works remotely, or both? If an added room is necessary, or faster connectivity, who pays what?<\/p>\r\n<p>If one has a commute and the other works from home, how will that change chores, childcare, expectations? For example, if one commutes, will the other prep dinner? There may not be a good answer, but an understanding about balancing out responsibilities can say a lot about your partner<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"8_What_drives_each_person_crazy\"><\/span>8. What drives each person crazy?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>I\u00a0 know couples who broke up because \u2018he always left the kitchen a mess.\u2019 Or \u2018she always left the car seat all the way forward.\u2019 For many it\u2019s phone scrolling while eating together.<\/p>\r\n<p>Why not have an honest discussion about \u2018crazies\u2019 and pet peeves before they morph into a judgement about \u2018consideration\u2019? Make a list. Share each other\u2019s over a glass of wine. Most of these are small details that can be quickly handled like \u2018putting the toilet seat down\u2019 and \u2018don\u2019t bring the phone to the table.\u2019 Find understanding in these. Agree to take them seriously. That\u2019s what it takes for a happy Rom Com movie ending.<\/p>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"9_Explore_family_matters_because_families_matter\"><\/span>9. Explore family matters because families matter.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>Pew Research Center periodically surveys about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/topic\/family-relationships\/\">families and relationships<\/a>. You can use their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/short-reads\/2023\/11\/20\/for-thanksgiving-6-facts-about-americans-and-family\/\">survey<\/a> results to reflect on what you both may want.<\/p>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li><em>How important is it to <strong>live close to family<\/strong><\/em>? 42% of women say this is \u2018very important,\u2019 29% of men. (This could impact job opportunities)<\/li>\r\n<li><em>What do you want from the relationship?<\/em> <strong>A fulfilling life<\/strong> is more important (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/social-trends\/2023\/09\/14\/what-makes-for-a-fulfilling-life\/\">61%<\/a> of respondents) than having children (26%), having a lot of money (24%) or being married (23%).<\/li>\r\n<li><em>Do we want to get <strong>married<\/strong>?<\/em> Among adults ages 18 to 34, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/short-reads\/2024\/02\/15\/among-young-adults-without-children-men-are-more-likely-than-women-to-say-they-want-to-be-parents-someday\/\">69%<\/a> of those who have never been married say they want to.<\/li>\r\n<li><em>What about <strong>kids<\/strong>?<\/em> Young men without children are more likely to say they want kids (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/short-reads\/2024\/02\/15\/among-young-adults-without-children-men-are-more-likely-than-women-to-say-they-want-to-be-parents-someday\/\">57%<\/a>) than young women (45%).<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10_How_will_you_work_through_problems_in_your_relationship_as_they_come_up\"><\/span>10. How will you work through problems in your relationship as they come up?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\r\n<p>Before moving in together, you and your partner had a specific way of working through disagreements. Maybe you met up and talked about it. Maybe you didn\u2019t talk for a couple of days.<\/p>\r\n<p>Living together means you need a different way to resolve stuff. If you are going to disagree (and you will,) <a href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/\">can you agree on how to get to agreement<\/a>? Ignoring your significant other isn\u2019t an option; (you live with them).<\/p>\r\n<p>One couple I know keep a vacation cocktail drink parasol they leave out as a signal that a conversation is needed. Later (when emotions are cooler), they sit down over a beer and talk about it. The parasol acts to let one cool down and alerts the other.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" class=\"wp-image-4007 lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" alt=\"Matthew Fassnacht\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" data-src=\"https:\/\/bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/matthew-fassnacht-557816-unsplash-1024x683.jpg\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/matthew-fassnacht-557816-unsplash-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/matthew-fassnacht-557816-unsplash-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/matthew-fassnacht-557816-unsplash-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/matthew-fassnacht-557816-unsplash-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/matthew-fassnacht-557816-unsplash-2048x1365.jpg 2048w\"><\/figure>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Still_moving_in_together_We_can_help\"><\/span>Still moving in together? We can help!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\r\n<p>As long as you are confident in your relationship and your partner, living with someone you love can be an amazing journey. You will learn more about yourself than them.<\/p>\r\n<p>Should you both decide this is the right decision, Bellhop would love to help. We can make the transition easier, affordable, and less <a class=\"wpil_keyword_link\" title=\"stressful\" href=\"\/blog\/moving-stress\/\" data-wpil-keyword-link=\"linked\">stressful<\/a> than \u2018plain\u2019 moving already is. You can <a href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/\">learn more here<\/a>. Good luck!<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you ready to move in\u00a0together? So\u2026 you\u2019re thinking about moving in together? Maybe moving in with a boyfriend. Well, to begin, you\u2019re not alone. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":4007,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false},"categories":[1209],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v19.5 (Yoast SEO v19.10) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Moving in Together? Warnings &amp; Questions to Ask - Bellhop<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Moving in together is a big decision, and just because it feels like it&#039;s the &quot;next step&quot; doesn&#039;t mean it&#039;s one you should take.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Moving in Together? 10 Signs it&#039;s Too Soon &amp; 10 Questions to Ask First\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Bellhop allows you to choose from a variety of local, long-distance, and labor-only moving services that suit your needs and budget.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Bellhop\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/BellhopMoving\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-03-08T09:19:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-03-08T19:54:06+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/matthew-fassnacht-557816-unsplash.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"5761\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"3841\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Nick Valentino\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@BellhopMoving\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@BellhopMoving\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Nick Valentino\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"12 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Nick Valentino\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0d1c7f232d2f71fbf2cfa16235d2d2bc\"},\"headline\":\"Moving in Together? 10 Signs it&#8217;s Too Soon &#038; 10 Questions to Ask First\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-03-08T09:19:25+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-03-08T19:54:06+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/\"},\"wordCount\":2369,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Moving\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/moving-in-together\/\",\"name\":\"Moving in Together? 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[&hellip;]","category_list":"<a href=\"https:\/\/www.getbellhops.com\/blog\/category\/moving\/\" rel=\"category tag\">Moving<\/a>","comments_num":"0 comments","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4005"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/37"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4005"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4005\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26189,"href":"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4005\/revisions\/26189"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4007"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4005"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4005"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bellhopblog.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4005"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}